"wow......look at that!"
Rabindra said, pointing at the beautiful pink himalayas.....
The white himalayas were looking pink in this dusk as the sun had gone to rest somewhere behind the great himalayas.
"ooo....myyyyy godddd......love that....so beautiful!!!" said Sudarsan keeping his jaw wide open,
"yeah" said Aadarsh transfixed at the sight of the magnificent himalayas...
"guys, lets take some photographs....."i said,
We took some photographs........Sudarsan, the Mr.Photogenic gave some of greatfully silly poses for the photograph.......
This is the first day of our 7 days trek. Our route consisted of manakamana, gorkha, lamjung and pokhara. We started from kurintar, went to manakamana and now we have reached gorkha. Today we walked for more than 8 hours.......
As, it was getting dark, we decided to stay at gorkha today. So we started searching for a lodge. Finally we find a small teashop cum hotel cum lodge. It was near the steps to the gorakhnath temple, just 1 hrs east to it. We booked 1 room for the night just above the teashop.
We 3; me, Rabindra and Aadarsh were resting and Sudarsan was doing his usual jobs like charging the mobiles, cameras, purchasing dry foods, gulcose etc etc.We all were waiting for the "Sauni" to call us for the dinner.
Then after 1 hr, at about 8, sauni called us downward to her teashop. We went there, took seat at the bench and were waiting.
"these days, its very hard to see the sun" said sauni who was collecting tea glasses,
"yes....and how many days has passed since last sunshine?"asked sudarsan.....
"it has been 7 whole days...."
Sauni returned to the kitchen and we were discussing the next day plan.....I had a glance round the tea shop. There were some 4-5 people who were taking tea / snacks. I turned here and there to see what the local people were doing. As i was turning my head, i had a feeling that a girl was looking at me. So I looked at her. She smiled at me, joined her hands and said
"Namaste daju",
"Namaste"....i looked her from toe to head but no i hadnt seen her before.
"daju, u dont know me, but i know you very well"
"....."(oh god! i didnt realized that i am that popular.........)
"i am muna"
(that name seems quite familiar to me, but still,i cant figure out when had i met her),
"...the one whom u had provided scholarship for my high school two years ago...."
"o ho! yes, muna, yeah i know u"
i became quite excited and was thanking my memory when i noticed that she was standing,
i looked at my bench, Sudarsan was not there, so i pointed to the empty space at the other end of it and said....
"please be sited",
"thankyou",
she sat down by my side......Adarsh and Rabindra were at the next bench just in front of ours, and they were making wolf cries.....
"aawwwwwww!!!!!"
I glanced them making my face as fearful as possible and signaled them to shut up, i was afraid that muna might see this......
"ok, our dinner is ready" cried Sudarsan from somewhere.......
When i turned my head towards the kitchen, i saw Sudarsan standing ahead of sauni, both carrying two plates of rice with both their hands......
"who is she?" asked sudarsan putting the plates at the table,
"she is muna, the one who had received the first 'Ujjyalo Nepal' scholarship.."
"namaste!" said muna.....
"namaste" sudarsan paid back....
"muna, ahh, they are my friends.....Sudarsan, Aadarsh and Rabindra"
"namaste!"
"namaste!"
"ummmmm... daju u take dinner, i will come back tomorrow ok?"
"no..why.....please take dinner with us..."
"no daju, sorry, my house is near; besides my parents are waiting for me.......and its time for dinner at my house"
"ok then.....if u wish so...then go"
"and......when will u leave this hotel?"
"tomorrow morning @ 7" said sudarsan, smiling......
"ok then, i will be here before 6.30, i have a lot to talk with you..."
"ya sure!"
"goodnite!".....she waved her hand and vanished at the dense darkness of the night outside the hotel..........
"goodnite.."
We took our dinner and then went to bed.....we were talking about our past...........
All the guys were sleeping except me. Pictures from the past started flashing through my mind.
Two years ago..............
We, the group of 9 youngsters formed a non-profit organization named "Ujjyalo Nepal" in my initiation. The purpose was to help educating the childrens upto +2 level. Our task was to volunteer in raising fund and purchase the books, pay for the school fee, uniform, copies and stationary. I was the head of the organization in papers but the organization had 9 heads, we all could decide for the organization. Me, Adarsh, Rabindra, Sudarsan, Samita, Sebi, Reena, Binita and Sumi.....
Early in the morning Adarsh and Rabindra used to go to the villages, find schools to collect the information about the children. Mostly, Me and sumi; used to go for raising the fund as i liked her very much, but other people were equally engaged in fund raising. We had an office @ ghattekulo and any two of the girls used to be in the office attending the phone calls and the letters.
This work was for our internal pleasure...so we had minor discussions about the style of working but we never quarreled. So in just 1 year we were able to support about 500 students, mostly girls; 310 primary level, 150 upto SLC and about 40 in +2.
Due to our work, the government decided to honor our organization with an award. I was invited to receive that award as the head. I know, i have to encourage my friends, so i dedicated it to all of them.
On that day, we had a small celebration for our achievement...And on this day, i proposed sumi. It was very hard for me to express my feelings for her in her presence.....and with much courage i said
"sumi, i love u"
but.... she rejected me......
She said "Ramesh, we are close friends and I know that no one was so close to me as u were. But i think u as my best friend and not more than that...."
for a moment i couldn't find words to speak....
"....so...if we are best friends, why can't we be the same for life long?"
".......Ramesh, the thing is that I don't believe in love and i think u should not spoil our friendship for your wrong feelings......"
wrong feelings???
I felt that it is the insult of my love, of my belief in love. So i left the party at once.
I went to my home and thought for a long time.....I believed and still believe in love because i believe in god, but she didn't believe in love.I thought that we couldn't be together, so i have to leave this place. In frustration, i decided to go away from her, so i leaved the organization and then i went to Germany for my masters. From that day, i never went to her, nor did she approached me.
After 1 year, i came back and met my friends Sudarsan, Adarsh and Rabindra. I asked them about the organization; they told me that after 1 month of my departure, all of them left the organization except sumi who is the head now. They also told me that the organization is economically poor and is inactive nowadays.
Then our trekking plan was formed and we came here for the trekking........
"oi, khaire!"
someone was shaking my shoulder from behind....i opened my eyes and rolled to my left to find Sudarsan.
"oi! muna is here" he said,
"ummm....so early...whats the time now?"
"Already 6.45...now get up u khaire!!"
"ok..."
Lazily i come out of bed, wear some warm clothes and come out of our room to the tea-shop.
There were many people in the shop and muna was there sitting at the yesterday bench.
"Hello! goodmorning..."i say with a soft voice...
she turned her head and smiled at me,
"goodmorning.....had i disturbed u? you seem quite tired..."
"no...not really, its only that i slept very late...so...."
"ok.."
i ordered 2 tea and some biscuits......
"tell me muna, what are u doing nowadays?"
"i am teaching at the local school as the volunteer.."
"volunteer? why?"
"daju, if u people can volunteer for my education, why cant i volunteer in the school? Besides, my parents say that they wont take their daughter's income..."
"ok.." i was impressed by the reasoning power of this girl,
Just then sauni came and placed the tea with some biscuits in the plate on the table,
"u know daju, i want to do something more....like you did....i am impressed by your work.." she told, after sauni had left,
i felt quite proud and my nose started growing to its fullest height....
"...but..."
"but what?"
"why did u left ujjyalo, at the height of your achievement?"
"oh.....i had some personal reasons..." i lied her not wanting to open the closed chapters again,
"i don't know what was your problem but i get very frustrated when i hear of such things about u"
her face was very sad.....i was too interested to know what things were flying there about me....
"what are they talking?"
"They say that u left ujjyalo for a girl......" she looked at my face,
"......." i couldn't say anything, so i picked the tea glass and tried to hide my face from her eyes,
".....so...was that correct?"
"no....i left because i was not interested...and thats the only reason...." i explained in a hurry; i was somewhat angry for her question,
"ok, but do you know, when u started it, may be it was your interest but now it has been associated with the future of hundreds of children...."
"......."
"...so u cant leave it saying that u are not interested..."
"....." i just opted to hear what she was saying,
"do u know what i think about this?" she said rather in a low voice so that no one there, may hear what she was going to say,
"what?" i asked,
"I think, your initiation was for impressing that girl....sumi....wasn't that?" she was studying every single motion of the muscles of my face,
"maybe....." i begin to surrender in front of her who knows everything about me, everything that i had kept covered in my heart like a secret...
"....daju, i know what it feels when someone u love turns u down....."
"....." i could just nod,
"......but u know what, God always gives you the thing u deserve; maybe she was not yours, maybe god sent her into your life to show you the way of your life...."
"yeah! i think so..."(there was no other thing to say...)
" u know, every life in this world has a meaning, a person is said to win, if he finds and serves the meaning of his life...."
"yeah!"
".....there are many people who are wandering in life to find out the reason of their life, u had found the meaning of your life, but......"
"...." i watch her face totally mesmerized by her fluent words......
"...but....now u r ignoring it and trying to search another reason which even dont exist",
she looks at my face trying to figure out the reaction of her words on me,
"hmmmm.... i know the reason for my life and i am not going away from it, but i have responsibilities as a son, a brother, a good friend and...."
"and dont you have a responsibility as a good citizen, as a good person???" she cuts my words....
"of course i have, and i am trying for it..."
"when will you try? when u are old enough to stand only with others support?"
"....."
"u have inspired me for volunteering, but now u are making me ashamed...."
"....ok, tell me what have u done getting the oppurtunity to study?" i attacked her to protect myself,
"...i ..i ..", this time she didnt find the words,
"if u had not studied, u had to marry, give birth to babies and look after your house, and after studying, u are upto the same thing, then whats the meaning of your studies??"
"haha!"
"...." i wondered why she was laughing,
".....people are meant to live,they live anyways; but living with your eyes closed is more miserable than living with your eyes open, isn't it?"
"......"
"education gives light, so after getting education, we could live in light, we could know what it means to live; that's what we want...."
"hey people, haven't u finished your talks?"
Sudarsan cried out from the other end of the shop,
"guys, we are already late...." this time it was Rabindra, who was carrying the bag,
"ok, u just pay the bill, i am coming...."
they turned towards the counter,
"..ok muna, now i must say goodbye"
"bye daju, but please remember my request, please think of those small children who are left in darkness only because they were born in poor family, please think of those innocent hearts who are imprisoned into the jail of darkness and please dont ignore the voice of your soul, your inner-self. I hope to see u someday, carrying ujjyalo with u, i wish to work with u someday..."
"hmmmmm...."
"bye..." she waved her hand,
i turned towards my friends, they were waiting me outside the tea-shop. I carried my bag and we leaved the place for our next destination........
we then went to the gorkha palace and some other places, but throughout the travel, her words were flowing inside my heart, i went on thinking and thinking and finally i thought that i should resume my activities.
"hey Ramesh, whats in your mind man?" Adarsh,who was behind me asked,
"mmmmmmm........Adarsh, i have decided to join ujwalo..." i looked at his face to see his reaction,
"what? are u mad? and can u again work with sumi?" he was quite shocked,
"no, i am not mad, i had thought about it for long..."
"so, u plan to have another organization?"
"no man! This sector of work is not for profit, so i think we should not compete with ujawalo, rather we should join it and work with it, this way only can we establish the true meaning of social service, and u know that we can only win, if we work together...."
"silly boy! and u think sumi would leave the post for u?"
"i dont need the post, i need only to work, work in accordance to the voice of my own soul.."
"can u face her???" he was suspicious about my words,
"i know i cant, but i must not suppress the voice of my spirit by my false feelings....and i think i could also persuade her for it.."
"ok....and how do u plan to gather all those past members???"
"i will try to persuade them,if they came, its ok; if they dont, its ok..."
"what ok ok....man sometimes you get too philosophical....." he was irritated by my speech,
" hahaha........ya you are right, but i must remember that it is my job, not theirs, so....its ok with me in either case...." i smile at his confused face,
"......"
"i think i am gonna talk with Sudarsan and Rabindra. i am gonna initiate it now...."
his face seems somewhat satisfied,
"ok, lets walk fast...."
we increased our speed to meet the two 'cheetahs' who were far ahead of us.......
Today was not like the last week, there was a thin fog but the wind was not so chilled. People were moving at the narrow road. The hills looked yellowish due to orange. Oranges, oranges and oranges.......i could see only oranges everywhere and my heart was leaping with joy......
I looked up, at the sky and there was the new Sun, shining at its fullest; shining after all those odd days......
-----Ramesh Parajuli--------
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
Anita
(This story is an art of literature......it doesnt resembles to anyones life.....so read it but dont take the character "Ramesh" real......i am not that and this is not my story ok.......)
"....kalimati,balkhu,kirtipur......"
"....kalimati,balkhu,kirtipur......"
A small boy(conductor) was shouting at the moving mass of people.I climbed the bus and there were 3-4 seats empty. I went to the seat by the side of a girl sitting at the window. I collected a lot of courage and sat there not daring to watch her face.
"hey Ramesh!!!!".....
i turned my face towards the window(not the girl..but the girl was at the side of window..)
"......."(i didnt find words to speak.......i was astonished to find her there....)
"hello...."
"hye"
"dont u remember me?"
"mmmmmmm....arent u Anita?"(i was just acting to guess.....trying to show her that i am not interested in her.....macho attitude actually.....)
"yeap! where are u going?"
"kirtipur, and u?"
"me too"
"u r studying there?"
"no boy! This dumb things...reading and writing is not for me....these are for u"(did she meant that i am a dumbo?)
"...."
"Actually i am going to my sis house"
"oh!"
the bus is now full with passengers and was moving outside the buspark.
.....
....
.....(hell! why is she not talking)
i just watched the window(not the girl) to see what she is doing.
"And,..(Yes! she started again...hip hip hurray)
why are u going to kirtipur? u are at Bachelors, arent u?"
"yeah"
"which subject?"
"BIT at Kcc"
"the one in front of Share market complex?"
"yeah"
.......
........
"tell me one thing, why are u always nervous?"
(did she noticed that i was red..)
"no,why should i be?its so hot here so....."(oh!!!)
she smiles...and i felt like i had been caught.....
"u didnt told me why are u going to kirtipur?"
"oh sorry(of course!i was nervous),actually i am going to take the migration of my sis"
"thanks god, i found u(she looked sharp at my eyes..)"
"(i got Surprised and nervous.....man! did she mean me?uuf....its so hot here...)
what?"
"my sis will be there at 3...now its 1...its boring to stay alone,so....."
"........(should i invite her to restaurant?no...yes...no.....)"
"ummmm....then shall i come with u.....i have a lot to talk with u"
":-)....no...i mean...why not? sure..."
so, when the bus reached balkhu....
"Anita, i am getting off here, soooo...."
"Ok, lets go then.."
we climbed off the bus and walked towards TU. we were talking about our past.....and then i completed the work at about 1.45....(uff!!! still 1 whole hour.......god its so....hoooooottt...)
Anita...........
3 months ago, she shifted form bagbazar to (!!place unknown!!)....
Her room was just opposite to my room.(Her window and my window were facing each other...). I used to light the tubelight, when i was at the room.(It was dark even at day...)
It was the month of poush, when she came to that room.....Her room had a small balcony at its front; visible from the road (and of course from my room!!!)....the balcony was so good that one could see the sun from morning to evening.........
so she used to sit at the balcony and sleep there or study(..magazines i guess.....reading n writing is not for her...)
I never had a straight look at any girl.....so i never noticed her.....
( Accidently ) Whenever i looked outside the window, god! she was watching at my room.........
It was during my ISc exams......i used to study day and night for the exams....
And she..........
She used to play the music loud on her radio from inside her room....and sleep at the balcony.......
The music was quite loud and as my room is just 10 mtrs away from hers, it was quite irrating.....i couldnt concentrate on my studies....
"bepanaha pyaar he aaja.....tera intajaar he aaja...."shit!!!!
I was quite angry...tomorrow was my exam......oh god what should i do!!!
I thought that i should talk with her but i never had enough courage to start....
She seemed to me the most ugliest creature in the world......like the witch in hansel and gretel(who had of course the cake house like hers....). I used to curse the god for manufacturing such damaged piece....
Whenever her sis used to call "Anita, Anita......", i used to get into high temper........
Tommorow was my maths exam....i was practising the exercises.. then i heard..........
"bepanaha pyaar he aaja.....tera intajaar he aaja...."
holy shit!!!! again??????
all of a sudden i got out of my room and walked towards hers, i was going to scold her.......but guess what....i found her at the road....and her loud music was still on!!!oh god!!!!!!!my blood pressure was going higher and higher......
so i thought "the bitch is intentionally disturbing me"........i was out of mind and then i noticed something on her that made me laugh.........
hhahahahahahahaha.........uhauahahahahahahaha
her 'kajal' was way below her eyes and on her cheeks....her lips was half red and half pink(half of her color was wiped...)....her hairs were scrambled like a real bitch!!!! She looked terrific.......like a BHOOT!!!!!
she looked like walking in her dreams......but no she smiled at me....a wicked smile....i then gained conciousness........
and hurriedly turned back and came to my room.....after a moment the music was off, so i looked at my window.........she was there watching at my room.......
"hey"
"aah(the time frame moved quickly and i came from past to live action)"
"hey, why are u nervous again?"
"no, not nervous..."
"tell me what were u thinking?"
"nothing....."
"ok, may i guess?"
"(no.....please....dont guess)ok"
"are u thinking how to invite me to the coffee?"
"hell! how did u know??(i was trying to be normal)"
"hehehe......i know what u guys think..."
"so...do u know some place?"
"yeap! lets go....just follow me"
"(of course i was always following u)"
There was a lot of trafic, so we were not talking much.......the time frame again went to the past......
So the same routine continued and my exams were over........of course, it went not so good, but not bad either.....
After the exam, i had nothing to do....i had 15 days vacation......
it was quite boring to sit alone......so whenever i used to hear the music, i just looked at the window to find that she was also staring at me.....and giving me some message by her facial expressions....(i never understood what she was saying...but of course, she was saying something....)
Slowly i started liking her.....(was it love?mmmmmm i am not sure)
I tried to talk to her......but never had a chance(i dont know what chance i need to talk to a girl????)
actually i had a lot of encounters with her.....but i never opened my mouth......
And one day she moved.....and i was empty again.....with no music...............
"hurry, Ramesh!!there is a bus coming"
i got into my sense.....hurriedly crossed the road
She had already crossed the road.....
"damn! is ur head always spinning like this?"
"oh, sorry......"
"u were nearly hit by that freak bus...."
"......oh! i was just thinking something....."
"Will u tell me what is on ur mind?"
"forget it, lets get going....and where are u going?"
she looked at me with large eyes making her face look like she is angry with me....
"there..."
she was pointing to a nearby restaurant......
so we went to the restaurant.........
It was a small, neat but not so expensive restaurant....We took seat at the corner near the acquarium.
A boy came to take order. She ordered 2 half momo and 2 coffee. Then She started again
"Tell me howz ur study going?"
"great"
"ok"
....
....
The boy brought the coffee and went.
"Ramesh, do u remember the past days.....when i was @bagbazar"
"yes, but only a little"(liar liar.....)
"whenever i used to watch at your room, i always found u studying"
"i had exam then..."
"no, other times also...."
I just smiled.....she smiled too
"seriously, i always wondered what were u always studying?"
"...."
"u know,i like music and dancing a loot.....but i was always afraid that i might disturb u"
"(do u?? liar......)"
The boy brought us momo.......
I was waiting for her to start.......
"oh! just go on....please take.."
"ladies first....hehehe"
"haha....ok ok"
She took the first piece and then i started too....our conversation was going on(I was gaining confidence and no more shy....)
"Ramesh, where is ur brother?"
"Somesh?"
"yeap"
"(why is she asking about him?)....oh he's gone to malaysia"
"u know, u both are same.....innocent, shy and cute...."
"(Am i?? hurray.......yes i am!!!)"
I smiled....
"seriously.......u two brothers are alike, good manners, smily face, good sense of humor, respect for others....i like both of u..."
"(Two????)"
"Somesh is also a good guy....."
"(Where the hell did he came from between us??brother i am gonna
kill u....)"
"he had helped me many times...."
"(u brute!! and u never told me huh!!!....)"
"u know we used to talk at the roof and exchange message using gestures and sign language sitting at the window......."
crshh....something crashed......and it was inside my heart....(Is this called the heart break?)
"somesh and i,it was so good when i was with somesh.....actually i think we were in love..........and i love him even today.....i think he too loves me."
"......"
"u know, he calls me twice a month from malaysia and .................."
.......................
.......................
.................................
.............................
she was talking but i didnt heard anything........i could only hear a continuous beep, i could see only darkness.....every thing seemed to stop and then......i went back to the moments i had just visualized......
I saw a boy, watching a girl from his window....hell it is me...and that girl ....she is Anita...my ugliest girl.............and Somesh, that dog....he is at his room just above mine.... Anita and Somesh are talking with sign language and I, the fool is happy that the girl is giving me signals...........noooooo......i cant see it........
please god take me away from this ......
Tears start rolling from my eyes.....
"hey Ramesh, why are u weeping?"
suddenly something touched me and i felt that everthing was moving...... and i saw her in front of me shaking my arms....
she was shocked and confused, not knowing what to do.....
i came into my senses..........and looked at other peoples....no one was watching us..........
"no...nothing(i wiped my tears with my hands)"
"take this..."
she gave me her handkerchief,
i used it to wipe my tears from my cheeks....i could inhale her smell from the handkerchief....and it went deep into my heart....generating more tears to fall off my eyes......
"Are u alright?"
she was holding my left hand...
i was unable to speak so i nooded my head,took her hands,placed her handkerchief and said
"yeap! fine, i am fine...."
"what made u cry?"
she was still shocked......
"...."
"I didnt know u are so sentimental......huh"
"no....i just thought of u and somesh...so"
"why should u cry then?"
"nothing......forget it..."
She was quite shocked......and unable to speak anything.....
for a moment silence ruled the environemnt.....
"i think u are getting late(it was already 3)" i said breaking the silence,
"(she was searching words to speak)yeah, its 3...i must be going"
I dont know who paid the bill......but i was in hurry to get away from her.....
"Anita, there is my bus..."
"Ok....u go...."
i climbed the moving bus in a hurry....
"careful" she said.....
"bye Ramesh, see u soon....."
i dont know when did i heard it, but when i turned at the voice, she was not there............
"....kalimati,balkhu,kirtipur......"
"....kalimati,balkhu,kirtipur......"
A small boy(conductor) was shouting at the moving mass of people.I climbed the bus and there were 3-4 seats empty. I went to the seat by the side of a girl sitting at the window. I collected a lot of courage and sat there not daring to watch her face.
"hey Ramesh!!!!".....
i turned my face towards the window(not the girl..but the girl was at the side of window..)
"......."(i didnt find words to speak.......i was astonished to find her there....)
"hello...."
"hye"
"dont u remember me?"
"mmmmmmm....arent u Anita?"(i was just acting to guess.....trying to show her that i am not interested in her.....macho attitude actually.....)
"yeap! where are u going?"
"kirtipur, and u?"
"me too"
"u r studying there?"
"no boy! This dumb things...reading and writing is not for me....these are for u"(did she meant that i am a dumbo?)
"...."
"Actually i am going to my sis house"
"oh!"
the bus is now full with passengers and was moving outside the buspark.
.....
....
.....(hell! why is she not talking)
i just watched the window(not the girl) to see what she is doing.
"And,..(Yes! she started again...hip hip hurray)
why are u going to kirtipur? u are at Bachelors, arent u?"
"yeah"
"which subject?"
"BIT at Kcc"
"the one in front of Share market complex?"
"yeah"
.......
........
"tell me one thing, why are u always nervous?"
(did she noticed that i was red..)
"no,why should i be?its so hot here so....."(oh!!!)
she smiles...and i felt like i had been caught.....
"u didnt told me why are u going to kirtipur?"
"oh sorry(of course!i was nervous),actually i am going to take the migration of my sis"
"thanks god, i found u(she looked sharp at my eyes..)"
"(i got Surprised and nervous.....man! did she mean me?uuf....its so hot here...)
what?"
"my sis will be there at 3...now its 1...its boring to stay alone,so....."
"........(should i invite her to restaurant?no...yes...no.....)"
"ummmm....then shall i come with u.....i have a lot to talk with u"
":-)....no...i mean...why not? sure..."
so, when the bus reached balkhu....
"Anita, i am getting off here, soooo...."
"Ok, lets go then.."
we climbed off the bus and walked towards TU. we were talking about our past.....and then i completed the work at about 1.45....(uff!!! still 1 whole hour.......god its so....hoooooottt...)
Anita...........
3 months ago, she shifted form bagbazar to (!!place unknown!!)....
Her room was just opposite to my room.(Her window and my window were facing each other...). I used to light the tubelight, when i was at the room.(It was dark even at day...)
It was the month of poush, when she came to that room.....Her room had a small balcony at its front; visible from the road (and of course from my room!!!)....the balcony was so good that one could see the sun from morning to evening.........
so she used to sit at the balcony and sleep there or study(..magazines i guess.....reading n writing is not for her...)
I never had a straight look at any girl.....so i never noticed her.....
( Accidently ) Whenever i looked outside the window, god! she was watching at my room.........
It was during my ISc exams......i used to study day and night for the exams....
And she..........
She used to play the music loud on her radio from inside her room....and sleep at the balcony.......
The music was quite loud and as my room is just 10 mtrs away from hers, it was quite irrating.....i couldnt concentrate on my studies....
"bepanaha pyaar he aaja.....tera intajaar he aaja...."shit!!!!
I was quite angry...tomorrow was my exam......oh god what should i do!!!
I thought that i should talk with her but i never had enough courage to start....
She seemed to me the most ugliest creature in the world......like the witch in hansel and gretel(who had of course the cake house like hers....). I used to curse the god for manufacturing such damaged piece....
Whenever her sis used to call "Anita, Anita......", i used to get into high temper........
Tommorow was my maths exam....i was practising the exercises.. then i heard..........
"bepanaha pyaar he aaja.....tera intajaar he aaja...."
holy shit!!!! again??????
all of a sudden i got out of my room and walked towards hers, i was going to scold her.......but guess what....i found her at the road....and her loud music was still on!!!oh god!!!!!!!my blood pressure was going higher and higher......
so i thought "the bitch is intentionally disturbing me"........i was out of mind and then i noticed something on her that made me laugh.........
hhahahahahahahaha.........uhauahahahahahahaha
her 'kajal' was way below her eyes and on her cheeks....her lips was half red and half pink(half of her color was wiped...)....her hairs were scrambled like a real bitch!!!! She looked terrific.......like a BHOOT!!!!!
she looked like walking in her dreams......but no she smiled at me....a wicked smile....i then gained conciousness........
and hurriedly turned back and came to my room.....after a moment the music was off, so i looked at my window.........she was there watching at my room.......
"hey"
"aah(the time frame moved quickly and i came from past to live action)"
"hey, why are u nervous again?"
"no, not nervous..."
"tell me what were u thinking?"
"nothing....."
"ok, may i guess?"
"(no.....please....dont guess)ok"
"are u thinking how to invite me to the coffee?"
"hell! how did u know??(i was trying to be normal)"
"hehehe......i know what u guys think..."
"so...do u know some place?"
"yeap! lets go....just follow me"
"(of course i was always following u)"
There was a lot of trafic, so we were not talking much.......the time frame again went to the past......
So the same routine continued and my exams were over........of course, it went not so good, but not bad either.....
After the exam, i had nothing to do....i had 15 days vacation......
it was quite boring to sit alone......so whenever i used to hear the music, i just looked at the window to find that she was also staring at me.....and giving me some message by her facial expressions....(i never understood what she was saying...but of course, she was saying something....)
Slowly i started liking her.....(was it love?mmmmmm i am not sure)
I tried to talk to her......but never had a chance(i dont know what chance i need to talk to a girl????)
actually i had a lot of encounters with her.....but i never opened my mouth......
And one day she moved.....and i was empty again.....with no music...............
"hurry, Ramesh!!there is a bus coming"
i got into my sense.....hurriedly crossed the road
She had already crossed the road.....
"damn! is ur head always spinning like this?"
"oh, sorry......"
"u were nearly hit by that freak bus...."
"......oh! i was just thinking something....."
"Will u tell me what is on ur mind?"
"forget it, lets get going....and where are u going?"
she looked at me with large eyes making her face look like she is angry with me....
"there..."
she was pointing to a nearby restaurant......
so we went to the restaurant.........
It was a small, neat but not so expensive restaurant....We took seat at the corner near the acquarium.
A boy came to take order. She ordered 2 half momo and 2 coffee. Then She started again
"Tell me howz ur study going?"
"great"
"ok"
....
....
The boy brought the coffee and went.
"Ramesh, do u remember the past days.....when i was @bagbazar"
"yes, but only a little"(liar liar.....)
"whenever i used to watch at your room, i always found u studying"
"i had exam then..."
"no, other times also...."
I just smiled.....she smiled too
"seriously, i always wondered what were u always studying?"
"...."
"u know,i like music and dancing a loot.....but i was always afraid that i might disturb u"
"(do u?? liar......)"
The boy brought us momo.......
I was waiting for her to start.......
"oh! just go on....please take.."
"ladies first....hehehe"
"haha....ok ok"
She took the first piece and then i started too....our conversation was going on(I was gaining confidence and no more shy....)
"Ramesh, where is ur brother?"
"Somesh?"
"yeap"
"(why is she asking about him?)....oh he's gone to malaysia"
"u know, u both are same.....innocent, shy and cute...."
"(Am i?? hurray.......yes i am!!!)"
I smiled....
"seriously.......u two brothers are alike, good manners, smily face, good sense of humor, respect for others....i like both of u..."
"(Two????)"
"Somesh is also a good guy....."
"(Where the hell did he came from between us??brother i am gonna
kill u....)"
"he had helped me many times...."
"(u brute!! and u never told me huh!!!....)"
"u know we used to talk at the roof and exchange message using gestures and sign language sitting at the window......."
crshh....something crashed......and it was inside my heart....(Is this called the heart break?)
"somesh and i,it was so good when i was with somesh.....actually i think we were in love..........and i love him even today.....i think he too loves me."
"......"
"u know, he calls me twice a month from malaysia and .................."
.......................
.......................
.................................
.............................
she was talking but i didnt heard anything........i could only hear a continuous beep, i could see only darkness.....every thing seemed to stop and then......i went back to the moments i had just visualized......
I saw a boy, watching a girl from his window....hell it is me...and that girl ....she is Anita...my ugliest girl.............and Somesh, that dog....he is at his room just above mine.... Anita and Somesh are talking with sign language and I, the fool is happy that the girl is giving me signals...........noooooo......i cant see it........
please god take me away from this ......
Tears start rolling from my eyes.....
"hey Ramesh, why are u weeping?"
suddenly something touched me and i felt that everthing was moving...... and i saw her in front of me shaking my arms....
she was shocked and confused, not knowing what to do.....
i came into my senses..........and looked at other peoples....no one was watching us..........
"no...nothing(i wiped my tears with my hands)"
"take this..."
she gave me her handkerchief,
i used it to wipe my tears from my cheeks....i could inhale her smell from the handkerchief....and it went deep into my heart....generating more tears to fall off my eyes......
"Are u alright?"
she was holding my left hand...
i was unable to speak so i nooded my head,took her hands,placed her handkerchief and said
"yeap! fine, i am fine...."
"what made u cry?"
she was still shocked......
"...."
"I didnt know u are so sentimental......huh"
"no....i just thought of u and somesh...so"
"why should u cry then?"
"nothing......forget it..."
She was quite shocked......and unable to speak anything.....
for a moment silence ruled the environemnt.....
"i think u are getting late(it was already 3)" i said breaking the silence,
"(she was searching words to speak)yeah, its 3...i must be going"
I dont know who paid the bill......but i was in hurry to get away from her.....
"Anita, there is my bus..."
"Ok....u go...."
i climbed the moving bus in a hurry....
"careful" she said.....
"bye Ramesh, see u soon....."
i dont know when did i heard it, but when i turned at the voice, she was not there............
Thursday, December 17, 2009
The 100 rupee note
"Today's our last class, so if u have any questions, any confusions throughout the course; u may ask me".
.............(silence)
"Ok then, read seriously, do your work, and read more. You all have a good future ahead".
"Now, i would reward some of u for ur work. Throughout the course, i felt Ramesh's performance best................"
when this was announced at the last class of e-commerce, i was carried away, back to a year. A year ago when this was started.
2008 dec 22nd.......the day which brought all evils in my life. Before this day, i was confident, the center of attraction, the best student, the best son and more important the satisfied man. I was satisfied and thankful to god for my life.
But the day came to my life which brought me a lot of promises. It was easy for me to believe in the mirage, the illusion; which actually carried a lot of pains. I was carried away from my best features slowly and slowly. I was lost in the dream, the dream which could not be real in any case. And then when i recognized it, it was quite late. I wake up only to find myself thrown away in gutter. But I always remembered the values of my life, on which I was standing. I remembered the saying of Ram's guru in Ramayan "if u have tensions and problems, then don't go on solving them one by one; just find the root and remove it from your life." That's why Ram left away Sita.(This has been the most effective way for me to solve my problems through out my life).
Although it was quite painful, i did it because doing it was to save me, my career and my family. It was for everyone's sake. Well, i gave away my unfulfillable dreams and left away the cause of my tensions and problems. But even after one year, I couldnt get up and get back all that i deserve.
Until this day, when my performance was declared the best, i never felt thet i could get up and fight back. But now i feel like fighting again, fighting for all those things which were confiscated from me. God has always helped me through evens and odds. And this is the sign i was praying him for this whole year. Thanks god.
".......so i am giving you people some reward. Please don't go on the monetary value of it, rather feel that i am only recognizing your work."
"don't feel that i am giving this to u, rather feel that u really deserve it. And this is also for encouraging you".
"So i am giving this 100 rupee to reward Ramesh for his performance"
..........
i don't know where i was lost at that moment, i was quite emotional because i was really longing for this moment to come and i was anxious about my career.
"Ramesh, please come here...."
i went there with uneasiness not really believing in what i heard. No one had rewarded me with rupee. Had it been any gift or anything other, i would not have felt so uneasy.
Any ways i received it and there was a click of the camera. Then, I felt that it was the reality.................
Thank you sir..... u don't know what it means to me. You have given me my lost confidence, the most important feature of mine without which Ramesh is always incomplete......
Now i really feel like fighting back..........
.............(silence)
"Ok then, read seriously, do your work, and read more. You all have a good future ahead".
"Now, i would reward some of u for ur work. Throughout the course, i felt Ramesh's performance best................"
when this was announced at the last class of e-commerce, i was carried away, back to a year. A year ago when this was started.
2008 dec 22nd.......the day which brought all evils in my life. Before this day, i was confident, the center of attraction, the best student, the best son and more important the satisfied man. I was satisfied and thankful to god for my life.
But the day came to my life which brought me a lot of promises. It was easy for me to believe in the mirage, the illusion; which actually carried a lot of pains. I was carried away from my best features slowly and slowly. I was lost in the dream, the dream which could not be real in any case. And then when i recognized it, it was quite late. I wake up only to find myself thrown away in gutter. But I always remembered the values of my life, on which I was standing. I remembered the saying of Ram's guru in Ramayan "if u have tensions and problems, then don't go on solving them one by one; just find the root and remove it from your life." That's why Ram left away Sita.(This has been the most effective way for me to solve my problems through out my life).
Although it was quite painful, i did it because doing it was to save me, my career and my family. It was for everyone's sake. Well, i gave away my unfulfillable dreams and left away the cause of my tensions and problems. But even after one year, I couldnt get up and get back all that i deserve.
Until this day, when my performance was declared the best, i never felt thet i could get up and fight back. But now i feel like fighting again, fighting for all those things which were confiscated from me. God has always helped me through evens and odds. And this is the sign i was praying him for this whole year. Thanks god.
".......so i am giving you people some reward. Please don't go on the monetary value of it, rather feel that i am only recognizing your work."
"don't feel that i am giving this to u, rather feel that u really deserve it. And this is also for encouraging you".
"So i am giving this 100 rupee to reward Ramesh for his performance"
..........
i don't know where i was lost at that moment, i was quite emotional because i was really longing for this moment to come and i was anxious about my career.
"Ramesh, please come here...."
i went there with uneasiness not really believing in what i heard. No one had rewarded me with rupee. Had it been any gift or anything other, i would not have felt so uneasy.
Any ways i received it and there was a click of the camera. Then, I felt that it was the reality.................
Thank you sir..... u don't know what it means to me. You have given me my lost confidence, the most important feature of mine without which Ramesh is always incomplete......
Now i really feel like fighting back..........
Saturday, December 5, 2009
An Application to the VC
To,
The Vice Chancellor,
Purbanchal University,
Biratnagar,Nepal.
Respected sir,
I am a student of PU currently pursuing PU's BIT from Kantipur City College. I had been admitted to the program in 2005. The university told me that the program will end at 2009( 4 years degree). But due to the inefficient management of the university, the program went late for 1 year. So i would now get my degree at 2010(5 years degree). Since the program was of 4 years but university elongated it to 5 years, my 1 productive year has been lost. If i would have got the degree in 2009, i would have got an employment of min salary 15000. But due to loss of 1 year in the study, i missed that salary for whole year.
Since it is the mistake of the university, i would kindly request you to provide me Rs,1,80,000 (15000*12)+ 5% interest p.a.= Rs, 1,89,000. Although i could have also claimed the cost of the mental torture caused by the delay, but i understand the poor economic condition of the university; so i don't want to put extra burden on the university. This is because i respect the university which gave me my degree.
I am aware of the poor economy of PU, so i would also like to present an alternative. If the university is incapable of paying me compensation, i would like to request you to provide me with Rs,1120; the cost of purchasing 16 locks(@Rs, 70 per lock). The locks would be used to lock the offices as listed below:
1> PU :- Exam, Account, VC's office
2> PU liason office
3> KCC:- Exam, Account, College chief's office
4> WhiteHouse:-Exam, Account, College chief's office
5> KIST:-Exam, Account, College chief's office
6>CITE:-Exam, Account, College chief's office
My full address is attached along with this application.
I am looking forward for the payment and hope that the university would opt for the first option.
Sincerely yours,
Ramesh Parajuli
BIT 8th
KCC
The Vice Chancellor,
Purbanchal University,
Biratnagar,Nepal.
Respected sir,
I am a student of PU currently pursuing PU's BIT from Kantipur City College. I had been admitted to the program in 2005. The university told me that the program will end at 2009( 4 years degree). But due to the inefficient management of the university, the program went late for 1 year. So i would now get my degree at 2010(5 years degree). Since the program was of 4 years but university elongated it to 5 years, my 1 productive year has been lost. If i would have got the degree in 2009, i would have got an employment of min salary 15000. But due to loss of 1 year in the study, i missed that salary for whole year.
Since it is the mistake of the university, i would kindly request you to provide me Rs,1,80,000 (15000*12)+ 5% interest p.a.= Rs, 1,89,000. Although i could have also claimed the cost of the mental torture caused by the delay, but i understand the poor economic condition of the university; so i don't want to put extra burden on the university. This is because i respect the university which gave me my degree.
I am aware of the poor economy of PU, so i would also like to present an alternative. If the university is incapable of paying me compensation, i would like to request you to provide me with Rs,1120; the cost of purchasing 16 locks(@Rs, 70 per lock). The locks would be used to lock the offices as listed below:
1> PU :- Exam, Account, VC's office
2> PU liason office
3> KCC:- Exam, Account, College chief's office
4> WhiteHouse:-Exam, Account, College chief's office
5> KIST:-Exam, Account, College chief's office
6>CITE:-Exam, Account, College chief's office
My full address is attached along with this application.
I am looking forward for the payment and hope that the university would opt for the first option.
Sincerely yours,
Ramesh Parajuli
BIT 8th
KCC
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