The new sunshine.......

"wow......look at that!"

Rabindra said, pointing at the beautiful pink himalayas.....
The white himalayas were looking pink in this dusk as the sun had gone to rest somewhere behind the great himalayas.

"ooo....myyyyy godddd......love that....so beautiful!!!" said Sudarsan keeping his jaw wide open,

"yeah" said Aadarsh transfixed at the sight of the magnificent himalayas...

"guys, lets take some photographs....."i said,

We took some photographs........Sudarsan, the Mr.Photogenic gave some of greatfully silly poses for the photograph.......

This is the first day of our 7 days trek. Our route consisted of manakamana, gorkha, lamjung and pokhara. We started from kurintar, went to manakamana and now we have reached gorkha. Today we walked for more than 8 hours.......

As, it was getting dark, we decided to stay at gorkha today. So we started searching for a lodge. Finally we find a small teashop cum hotel cum lodge. It was near the steps to the gorakhnath temple, just 1 hrs east to it. We booked 1 room for the night just above the teashop.

We 3; me, Rabindra and Aadarsh were resting and Sudarsan was doing his usual jobs like charging the mobiles, cameras, purchasing dry foods, gulcose etc etc.We all were waiting for the "Sauni" to call us for the dinner.

Then after 1 hr, at about 8, sauni called us downward to her teashop. We went there, took seat at the bench and were waiting.

"these days, its very hard to see the sun" said sauni who was collecting tea glasses,

"yes....and how many days has passed since last sunshine?"asked sudarsan.....

"it has been 7 whole days...."

Sauni returned to the kitchen and we were discussing the next day plan.....I had a glance round the tea shop. There were some 4-5 people who were taking tea / snacks. I turned here and there to see what the local people were doing. As i was turning my head, i had a feeling that a girl was looking at me. So I looked at her. She smiled at me, joined her hands and said

"Namaste daju",

"Namaste"....i looked her from toe to head but no i hadnt seen her before.

"daju, u dont know me, but i know you very well"

"....."(oh god! i didnt realized that i am that popular.........)

"i am muna"

(that name seems quite familiar to me, but still,i cant figure out when had i met her),

"...the one whom u had provided scholarship for my high school two years ago...."

"o ho! yes, muna, yeah i know u"

i became quite excited and was thanking my memory when i noticed that she was standing,

i looked at my bench, Sudarsan was not there, so i pointed to the empty space at the other end of it and said....

"please be sited",

"thankyou",

she sat down by my side......Adarsh and Rabindra were at the next bench just in front of ours, and they were making wolf cries.....

"aawwwwwww!!!!!"

I glanced them making my face as fearful as possible and signaled them to shut up, i was afraid that muna might see this......

"ok, our dinner is ready" cried Sudarsan from somewhere.......

When i turned my head towards the kitchen, i saw Sudarsan standing ahead of sauni, both carrying two plates of rice with both their hands......

"who is she?" asked sudarsan putting the plates at the table,

"she is muna, the one who had received the first 'Ujjyalo Nepal' scholarship.."

"namaste!" said muna.....

"namaste" sudarsan paid back....

"muna, ahh, they are my friends.....Sudarsan, Aadarsh and Rabindra"

"namaste!"

"namaste!"

"ummmmm... daju u take dinner, i will come back tomorrow ok?"

"no..why.....please take dinner with us..."

"no daju, sorry, my house is near; besides my parents are waiting for me.......and its time for dinner at my house"

"ok then.....if u wish so...then go"

"and......when will u leave this hotel?"

"tomorrow morning @ 7" said sudarsan, smiling......

"ok then, i will be here before 6.30, i have a lot to talk with you..."

"ya sure!"

"goodnite!".....she waved her hand and vanished at the dense darkness of the night outside the hotel..........

"goodnite.."

We took our dinner and then went to bed.....we were talking about our past...........

All the guys were sleeping except me. Pictures from the past started flashing through my mind.

Two years ago..............

We, the group of 9 youngsters formed a non-profit organization named "Ujjyalo Nepal" in my initiation. The purpose was to help educating the childrens upto +2 level. Our task was to volunteer in raising fund and purchase the books, pay for the school fee, uniform, copies and stationary. I was the head of the organization in papers but the organization had 9 heads, we all could decide for the organization. Me, Adarsh, Rabindra, Sudarsan, Samita, Sebi, Reena, Binita and Sumi.....

Early in the morning Adarsh and Rabindra used to go to the villages, find schools to collect the information about the children. Mostly, Me and sumi; used to go for raising the fund as i liked her very much, but other people were equally engaged in fund raising. We had an office @ ghattekulo and any two of the girls used to be in the office attending the phone calls and the letters.

This work was for our internal pleasure...so we had minor discussions about the style of working but we never quarreled. So in just 1 year we were able to support about 500 students, mostly girls; 310 primary level, 150 upto SLC and about 40 in +2.

Due to our work, the government decided to honor our organization with an award. I was invited to receive that award as the head. I know, i have to encourage my friends, so i dedicated it to all of them.

On that day, we had a small celebration for our achievement...And on this day, i proposed sumi. It was very hard for me to express my feelings for her in her presence.....and with much courage i said

"sumi, i love u"

but.... she rejected me......

She said "Ramesh, we are close friends and I know that no one was so close to me as u were. But i think u as my best friend and not more than that...."

for a moment i couldn't find words to speak....

"....so...if we are best friends, why can't we be the same for life long?"

".......Ramesh, the thing is that I don't believe in love and i think u should not spoil our friendship for your wrong feelings......"

wrong feelings???

I felt that it is the insult of my love, of my belief in love. So i left the party at once.
I went to my home and thought for a long time.....I believed and still believe in love because i believe in god, but she didn't believe in love.I thought that we couldn't be together, so i have to leave this place. In frustration, i decided to go away from her, so i leaved the organization and then i went to Germany for my masters. From that day, i never went to her, nor did she approached me.

After 1 year, i came back and met my friends Sudarsan, Adarsh and Rabindra. I asked them about the organization; they told me that after 1 month of my departure, all of them left the organization except sumi who is the head now. They also told me that the organization is economically poor and is inactive nowadays.

Then our trekking plan was formed and we came here for the trekking........

"oi, khaire!"
someone was shaking my shoulder from behind....i opened my eyes and rolled to my left to find Sudarsan.

"oi! muna is here" he said,

"ummm....so early...whats the time now?"

"Already 6.45...now get up u khaire!!"

"ok..."

Lazily i come out of bed, wear some warm clothes and come out of our room to the tea-shop.

There were many people in the shop and muna was there sitting at the yesterday bench.

"Hello! goodmorning..."i say with a soft voice...

she turned her head and smiled at me,

"goodmorning.....had i disturbed u? you seem quite tired..."

"no...not really, its only that i slept very late...so...."

"ok.."

i ordered 2 tea and some biscuits......

"tell me muna, what are u doing nowadays?"

"i am teaching at the local school as the volunteer.."

"volunteer? why?"

"daju, if u people can volunteer for my education, why cant i volunteer in the school? Besides, my parents say that they wont take their daughter's income..."

"ok.." i was impressed by the reasoning power of this girl,

Just then sauni came and placed the tea with some biscuits in the plate on the table,

"u know daju, i want to do something more....like you did....i am impressed by your work.." she told, after sauni had left,

i felt quite proud and my nose started growing to its fullest height....

"...but..."

"but what?"

"why did u left ujjyalo, at the height of your achievement?"

"oh.....i had some personal reasons..." i lied her not wanting to open the closed chapters again,

"i don't know what was your problem but i get very frustrated when i hear of such things about u"

her face was very sad.....i was too interested to know what things were flying there about me....

"what are they talking?"

"They say that u left ujjyalo for a girl......" she looked at my face,

"......." i couldn't say anything, so i picked the tea glass and tried to hide my face from her eyes,

".....so...was that correct?"

"no....i left because i was not interested...and thats the only reason...." i explained in a hurry; i was somewhat angry for her question,

"ok, but do you know, when u started it, may be it was your interest but now it has been associated with the future of hundreds of children...."

"......."

"...so u cant leave it saying that u are not interested..."

"....." i just opted to hear what she was saying,

"do u know what i think about this?" she said rather in a low voice so that no one there, may hear what she was going to say,

"what?" i asked,

"I think, your initiation was for impressing that girl....sumi....wasn't that?" she was studying every single motion of the muscles of my face,

"maybe....." i begin to surrender in front of her who knows everything about me, everything that i had kept covered in my heart like a secret...

"....daju, i know what it feels when someone u love turns u down....."

"....." i could just nod,

"......but u know what, God always gives you the thing u deserve; maybe she was not yours, maybe god sent her into your life to show you the way of your life...."

"yeah! i think so..."(there was no other thing to say...)

" u know, every life in this world has a meaning, a person is said to win, if he finds and serves the meaning of his life...."

"yeah!"

".....there are many people who are wandering in life to find out the reason of their life, u had found the meaning of your life, but......"

"...." i watch her face totally mesmerized by her fluent words......

"...but....now u r ignoring it and trying to search another reason which even dont exist",

she looks at my face trying to figure out the reaction of her words on me,

"hmmmm.... i know the reason for my life and i am not going away from it, but i have responsibilities as a son, a brother, a good friend and...."

"and dont you have a responsibility as a good citizen, as a good person???" she cuts my words....

"of course i have, and i am trying for it..."

"when will you try? when u are old enough to stand only with others support?"

"....."

"u have inspired me for volunteering, but now u are making me ashamed...."

"....ok, tell me what have u done getting the oppurtunity to study?" i attacked her to protect myself,

"...i ..i ..", this time she didnt find the words,

"if u had not studied, u had to marry, give birth to babies and look after your house, and after studying, u are upto the same thing, then whats the meaning of your studies??"

"haha!"

"...." i wondered why she was laughing,

".....people are meant to live,they live anyways; but living with your eyes closed is more miserable than living with your eyes open, isn't it?"

"......"

"education gives light, so after getting education, we could live in light, we could know what it means to live; that's what we want...."

"hey people, haven't u finished your talks?"

Sudarsan cried out from the other end of the shop,

"guys, we are already late...." this time it was Rabindra, who was carrying the bag,

"ok, u just pay the bill, i am coming...."

they turned towards the counter,

"..ok muna, now i must say goodbye"

"bye daju, but please remember my request, please think of those small children who are left in darkness only because they were born in poor family, please think of those innocent hearts who are imprisoned into the jail of darkness and please dont ignore the voice of your soul, your inner-self. I hope to see u someday, carrying ujjyalo with u, i wish to work with u someday..."

"hmmmmm...."

"bye..." she waved her hand,

i turned towards my friends, they were waiting me outside the tea-shop. I carried my bag and we leaved the place for our next destination........

we then went to the gorkha palace and some other places, but throughout the travel, her words were flowing inside my heart, i went on thinking and thinking and finally i thought that i should resume my activities.

"hey Ramesh, whats in your mind man?" Adarsh,who was behind me asked,

"mmmmmmm........Adarsh, i have decided to join ujwalo..." i looked at his face to see his reaction,

"what? are u mad? and can u again work with sumi?" he was quite shocked,

"no, i am not mad, i had thought about it for long..."

"so, u plan to have another organization?"

"no man! This sector of work is not for profit, so i think we should not compete with ujawalo, rather we should join it and work with it, this way only can we establish the true meaning of social service, and u know that we can only win, if we work together...."

"silly boy! and u think sumi would leave the post for u?"

"i dont need the post, i need only to work, work in accordance to the voice of my own soul.."

"can u face her???" he was suspicious about my words,

"i know i cant, but i must not suppress the voice of my spirit by my false feelings....and i think i could also persuade her for it.."

"ok....and how do u plan to gather all those past members???"

"i will try to persuade them,if they came, its ok; if they dont, its ok..."

"what ok ok....man sometimes you get too philosophical....." he was irritated by my speech,

" hahaha........ya you are right, but i must remember that it is my job, not theirs, so....its ok with me in either case...." i smile at his confused face,

"......"

"i think i am gonna talk with Sudarsan and Rabindra. i am gonna initiate it now...."

his face seems somewhat satisfied,

"ok, lets walk fast...."

we increased our speed to meet the two 'cheetahs' who were far ahead of us.......

Today was not like the last week, there was a thin fog but the wind was not so chilled. People were moving at the narrow road. The hills looked yellowish due to orange. Oranges, oranges and oranges.......i could see only oranges everywhere and my heart was leaping with joy......

I looked up, at the sky and there was the new Sun, shining at its fullest; shining after all those odd days......

-----Ramesh Parajuli--------